Set and Setting for the Heart: Why Emotional Containers Matter in Non-Monogamy

Why big emotional experiences without a container are like psychedelic trips without a guide

At the heart of this painting by Pablo Amaringo, a radiant circle surrounds a group in ceremony—an energetic container holding space for transformation. Just as in plant medicine journeys, this circle symbolizes the essential structure needed for big emotional experiences: intention, protection, and reverence. Without a strong container, the intensity can scatter or overwhelm. But within a held space, what once felt like chaos can become healing. Whether in sacred ceremony, a threesome, or a truth-telling conversation about a tender relationship topic—how we hold the moment determines what it becomes. Set and setting aren’t just for psychedelics—they’re a conscious love practice.

In psychedelic spaces, we talk a lot about set and setting.

Set: your mindset—the internal landscape you bring in.
Setting: your environment—the external factors shaping your experience.

Together, they create the container for a journey that can be transformative, terrifying, tender—or all three.

But what if we brought that same wisdom into our non-monogamous relationships?

What if we treated emotionally charged moments—like sharing a new desire, navigating jealousy, or planning a threesome—with the same intentionality?

📅 Before we dive in: You’re invited to my free online workshop: Bend, Don’t Break: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance for Jealousy in Non-Monogamy Using the T.R.U.E. Method on Tuesday April 22nd. Can't join live? No problem. The replay will be sent to everyone who registers. 📅