How to Propose Opening A Once Monogamous & Hetero Marriage in a Way That Feels Safe

So you want to explore getting your needs met by more than one person with different genders? Here's where I’d begin.

This is an article from a paid reader, for paid readers. The question, edited for clarity:
”How can you ethically navigate the process of opening up a marriage when you're the one introducing the idea, particularly if you're motivated by exploring your queerness and recognizing that not all your needs can be met by one person—while also addressing the fear or hesitation you sense in your partner? What foundational work is most important to prioritize for yourself, your partner, and any new connections?”

Opening up a once-monogamous and heteronormative marriage is a courageous act of self-discovery and relational evolution. It’s a moment where desire meets honesty, and curiosity and a desire for autonomy meets the need for safety. While the idea of expanding love and connection can feel exciting, the process of communicating this desire to your partner requires careful thought, empathy, and respect for both of your emotional landscapes.

Here’s an 11-step process to propose such a shift from monogamy to a queer, open relationship structure in a way that fosters understanding, trust, and safety: