Dreaming Big: How to Design Your First Polyamorous Relationship

Practical tools, creative frameworks, and inspiring ideas to co-create a new polyam relationship

If monogamy is a paved road, polyamory is a lush, untamed jungle where you carve your own pathway through the wild terrain of possibilities. The Dream by Henri Rousseau, 1910

Today’s article dives into a reader’s question about navigating their first polyamorous relationship; I offer resources and advice to help them figure out how to envision and structure a new paradigm and design a dynamic that’s uniquely theirs.

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Before we get to the Q&A, I wanted to let you know about two new offerings and resources to kick off the new year with intention:

1. Cultivating Resilience: Online Breathwork & Parts-Work Meditation | Wed Jan 15th
   Participants in my group coaching program reported powerful experiences with our breathwork and parts-work meditations, so I’m offering a 90 minute online experience next week to anyone who wants to start the new year with more self love 💗 Come solo or plan an intentional date night at home with your special someone(s).

2. 100 Questions to Create Healthy Non-Monogamous Boundaries & Agreements
   One of the most common questions I get is: “How do I create boundaries and agreements in my new non-monogamous relationship?”
   
   Navigating non-monogamy often involves unlearning traditional relationship scripts and co-creating connections that reflect your unique needs, values, and desires. This process can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not sure where to start (or how to distinguish between a boundary and an agreement).

This beautifully designed, 17-page PDF is your ultimate guide to confidently exploring and defining healthy relational dynamics. You’ll gain insight and clarity by reflecting on these 100 thoughtfully crafted questions across 10 essential areas, ranging from time management to sexual dynamics, hierarchy, privacy and more.

Perfect for solo reflection, strengthening existing partnerships, or navigating group dynamics with your polycule.

Only $11.00 – Download instantly; Use it forever:

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And now to today’s Q&A:

Dear Aria,

I’m in my first polyamorous relationship and I’m struggling to figure out my vision for how this relationship could look. How can my partner and I collaboratively design our relationship? He’s been polyamorous with another long distance partner and hopes for us to integrate as metamours, which I’m open to, but I don’t have a specific vision beyond that. Do you have suggestions, frameworks, or creative ideas to help us co-create a relationship structure that feels aligned and fulfilling for both of us?

- Polyam Newbie Drafting a Dream